How to be More ConfidentFeb 02, 2023
So many of us struggle with confidence.
I know I did for a really long time… under-eating … over-exercising… people-pleasing… perfectionism… I thought all the external things were the keys to my feeling confident.
If I just got to X point (with weight, with work, as a mom) THEN I would feel confident … and the truth is that isn’t lasting confidence.
Studies show that at work, where men and women share in quality and quantity of performance and abilities, men overestimate their performance and abilities while women underestimate their own. Women report much higher rates of feeling undeserving of opportunities and are much less likely to ask for a raise or promotion. Women also reportedly worry more about being liked, if they are attractive enough, and fear outshining others or grabbing too much attention in the workplace. While men are applying for jobs when they meet 60% of the qualifications, women only apply when they meet 100%. There is even research that shows that women’s confidence actually declines with experience.
And this is just at work… almost all of my clients talk to me about confidence around their bodies, being mothers, people pleasing, career and purpose, and relationships.
Women collectively struggle with a lack of confidence because we are lied to from the start about where it comes from. As women, we receive so many different ideas about what we SHOULD be doing in order to feel confident. From how our bodies should look to how we should dress for an occasion to how we should parent and what we should say to make someone else happy.
For so much of my life I chased all these forms of external validation, these external SHOULDS thinking that those things would give me confidence… and each time I worked towards what I “should” do, I didn’t feel like I was enough.
Confidence isn’t something you get outside of yourself. It’s built WITHIN you.
Confidence is “the belief that you can rely on someone or something”.
So from where I stand, and what I’ve learned with years of working on myself is that when you learn to trust yourself, align with your own values l and embrace authenticity, true confidence flows from there.
You don’t have to “earn” it. It’s already inside of you – all you need to do is tune in and strengthen that muscle.
So if you want to be more confident, ask yourself:
- What are my values? What’s important to me? Do I currently live by those values?
- How can I trust myself more? With food? With movement? With parenting? With work? With what my body needs?
- How can I connect with my own worth?
You can learn to connect more with yourself through my membership, tuning into your body’s needs with meditation, movement, and meals ♥️