The Part of Pregnancy I Didn't Expect to Struggle With

This feels surprisingly vulnerable to write.

If you've followed me for a while, you know this isn't my first pregnancy. It's actually my fourth. You'd think by now I'd know exactly what to expect.

But if I'm being completely honest...

This has probably been the hardest pregnancy I've ever had when it comes to body image.

And that caught me off guard.

Because after years of healing my relationship with food, recovering from an eating disorder, working through perfectionism, helping thousands of women heal their hormones, and teaching women to love and trust their bodies...

...I honestly thought I had "graduated" from this conversation. It’s actually why I rarely talk about it on social media anymore. 

Apparently healing doesn't work that way…

One of the hardest parts hasn't actually been the weight gain itself.

It's been the comparison.

Most of my closest friends are around my age now. They're finished having babies. They're traveling. Wearing the clothes they love. Feeling settled in their bodies again. They're in this beautiful season where they get to focus on themselves after years of being pregnant with little ones.

Meanwhile, I'm buying another size up.

My belly grows every week. My face looks puffy. My clothes fit differently or don’t fit at all. Some mornings I barely recognize the woman looking back at me.

And I'd be lying if I said there haven't been moments where I've wondered why I chose to start all over again.

That thought usually lasts about five seconds...

...because then I feel this little bean kick.

And suddenly everything shifts.

What this experience has shown me is that healing isn't the absence of old thoughts.

Healing is noticing them faster.

It's recognizing when comparison sneaks back in before it gets to unpack its bags and move into your mind.

I've also realized something else.

I spend so much of my career teaching women about "safety signaling"—how our bodies need to feel safe before they prioritize hormone production, fertility, metabolism, healing, or even weight loss.

But I don't think we talk enough about emotional safety.

Because if every time your body changes, your first instinct is to criticize it...

...how safe does your body actually feel with you?

That question hit me harder than I expected.

Instead of asking,

"How do I get my body back?"

I've started asking,

"How do I become the kind of woman my body feels safe living inside of?"

It's a completely different question.

One is rooted in control.

The other is rooted in partnership.

And honestly...

Partnership feels a whole lot lighter.

Five things that have genuinely helped me

Not because they're trendy.

Not because they make for good Instagram quotes.

But because they've actually changed the conversation happening inside my own head.

1. I stopped looking at my body as something I'm carrying.

Instead, I started thinking about the life my body is carrying.

It sounds subtle, but it completely changed my perspective.

Every stretch mark.

Every pound.

Every swollen ankle.

Every sleepless night.

They're evidence that my body is spending its resources building someone else before herself.

That isn't weakness.

That's generosity.

2. I started thanking my body for invisible jobs.

We spend so much time evaluating what our bodies look like.

Rarely do we appreciate what they're actually doing.

Right now mine is building a brain.

Growing lungs.

Making a heartbeat.

Producing hormones.

Increasing blood volume.

Growing an entirely new organ (the placenta still blows my mind).

When I remember everything happening behind the scenes, my appearance becomes a much smaller part of the story.

3. I caught myself romanticizing old versions of me.

Have you ever looked at an old picture and thought,

"I looked amazing. Why was I so hard on myself?"

I've done that more times than I can count.

Which made me wonder...

Will I eventually look back at pictures from this pregnancy and think the exact same thing?

Probably.

So instead of waiting five years to appreciate this version of myself...

I'm trying to appreciate her now.

4. I stopped acting like confidence has to come after my body changes.

This one was hard.

So many of us make confidence conditional.

"I'll feel good once I lose the weight."

"Once my hormones are balanced."

"Once my clothes fit again."

But confidence built on conditions disappears the moment your body changes.

I'm trying to build something more durable than that.

5. I reminded myself that my body has never been the most interesting thing about me.

My children don't care what size jeans I wear.

My husband doesn't love me because of a number on a scale.

My clients don't trust me because I have visible abs.

The people who truly matter in my life have never once measured my worth by my waistline.

Why am I still trying to?

If you're reading this and you're not pregnant...

I hope you know this still applies.

Because body image isn't really about pregnancy.

It's about change.

It's about aging.

Perimenopause.

Postpartum.

Stress.

Grief.

Hashimoto's.

PCOS.

Weight gain.

Weight loss.

It's about learning to live inside a body that refuses to stay the same forever.

And maybe that's the real work.

Not creating a body that never changes.

But creating a relationship with yourself that can withstand the changes.

If there's one thing I hope you take away from this today, it's this:

You don't have to earn the right to be kind to yourself.

Not after you lose the weight.

Not after your hormones improve.

Not after you hit your goal.

You deserve that kindness today.

Exactly as you are.

If this resonated...

One of the biggest misconceptions I see is women believing their struggles are simply about willpower or confidence.

Most of the time, they're not.

Body image and body trust are deeply connected to hormones, blood sugar, stress physiology, nervous system regulation, inflammation, thyroid health, gut health, and the stories we've carried for years.

This is exactly the work I love doing.

Whether you're navigating fertility, postpartum, perimenopause, weight resistance, thyroid issues, or simply feeling disconnected from your body, you don't have to figure it out alone.

If you're anywhere in the world, I'd love to support you through Coaching with WBK for my out of state clients and Raeya for the ladies in Vegas, where we combine functional testing, nutrition, lifestyle, mindset, and personalized strategy to help you feel like yourself again.

And if you're in Las Vegas, our team at Raeya Wellness can help you take it even deeper with comprehensive lab work, hormone optimization, nutrition coaching, recovery therapies, body treatments, and truly root-cause care.

Because feeling at home in your body isn't about becoming someone else.

It's about finally feeling safe enough to become yourself again.