Are You Burning Yourself Out Caring For Everyone Else?Mar 01, 2023
A big reason clients come to me is that they feel like it’s hard to care for themselves.
They spend 99% (or even 100%) of their days caring for everyone else, leaving no time for them to rest. No time for them to relax. No time for them to experience pleasure.
So often, this need to please that’s been programmed within us results in burnout, where women begin to feel symptoms in their physical bodies because of the resistance to taking care of themselves:
- Debilitating fatigue
- Chronic lethargy
- Gut health issues
- Depression and resentment
- Hair falling
- Weight gain
- Trouble sleeping
- Anxiety about getting it all done
To prevent burnout, an important place to start is to remember to prioritize what’s important in life and to drop the rest – to take some stuff off your plate, essentially. Women tend to take on too much these days, wanting to “have it all” and to be Wonderwoman. Between kids, family obligations, work, a social life, and wellness practices, it quickly becomes unsustainable. It’s important to remember that having it all simply isn’t possible and that we have to choose what’s truly most important to us (and of course, this will naturally change and doesn’t need to stay static!)
Taking care of yourself doesn’t have to be complicated. In fact, some of the most nourishing things you can do for yourself every day are quite simple. But when you first start, it can feel really unfamiliar and quite challenging. I’d love to help you process through some of the resistance so you can find more ease instead.
- None of us will ever practice self-care “perfectly,” so leave that unrealistic expectation behind you.
- You are ALWAYS worthy of caring for yourself, no matter how productive you were that day, that week, or that month.
Sometimes, to see yourself as worthy of care, there is some resistance to work through. Working through that resistance isn’t a one-and-done thing. It’s an ongoing act of care for yourself to show up in the weeds with yourself!
Here are my favorite steps to beginning to work through the resistance (by the way, this practice is a form of self-care!)
- Notice the resistance - I understand the desire to ignore resistance it’s like maybe if we ignore it, it will go away. The thing is, it won’t. So start to notice the positive intention behind the resistance to caring for yourself. Maybe you think you need to be productive all the time to be worthy, accepted, or loved … perhaps you think you’re being a burden when asking for help. Take a moment and thank yourself for building that resistance up, and then tell yourself, “this is no longer serving me.
- Release the “shoulds” of how self-care is supposed to look- so much of our resistance comes from a place of “should.” The biggest reason you’re resistant to self-care is probably because of how you think it “should” look. Take a moment here to release the rules and explore what it might be like to come from a less rigid place.
- Acknowledge the judgments you hold about people who practice self-care -write down everything you think about people who practice self-care. Maybe you’ve said things like
- “They’re lazy.”
- “They’re selfish.”
- “They’re vain.”
- “Self-care is too expensive.”
Even take a moment to acknowledge if you’re jealous of people who practice self-care without resistance. There’s a lot that could come up here.
For all of the judgments, ask yourself:
- Where did I learn that?
- Is that really true?
- Could I see that from another perspective?
What would you need to believe instead to be able to feel safe to care for yourself?
I hope this mindset work helps transition your perspective from a place of burnout to a place of self-love and care rooted in self-love and worthiness.
This is a topic we dive deep into in my masterclass. I highly recommend setting up a discovery call and seeing if you’re the right fit for the program.
Have questions? Send me an email at [email protected]